EXT. COURTYARD - APARTMENT COMPLEX - MORNING
ALIX (20s, weary) is seated on a bench rapidly smoking a cigarette.
A MAN (40s) wearing mirrored aviators is sitting on the bench across from Alix. She finishes her cigarette, not noticing the Man, and pulls another one from the carton. Her lighter fails. The Man pulls a silver lighter from his pocket.
He approaches and sits on the bench next to her, holding out the lighter. Alix looks at him then at her unlit cigarette.
ALIX
I shouldn't smoke another one.
He returns the lighter to his pocket, his expression indistinguishable beneath the sunglasses.
MAN
I know why you're here. You had trouble falling asleep last night. Couldn't find peace of mind.
Alix scoots away from him.
MAN (CONTINUED)
It's common for people like you.
ALIX
How do we know each other again?
She tucks the cigarette behind her ear. The Man smiles and pushes his sunglasses down his nose. He leans toward her.
MAN
What is it? Have they been trying to cancel cable for three years? Texting you things they could type into a search engine?
Alix nervously untucks her t-shirt from her shorts. The Man chuckles and stands up. He walks toward the outside gate.
ALIX
(to herself)
What the fuck...
MAN
(turning back)
Try rubbing the lighter on a carpet.
Alix looks around as if expecting to be pranked.
CLOSE UP: BENCH
A sleek, grey business card lies where the Man was just sitting. In thin, black sans serif font reads, "BOOMER WHISPERER."
INT. ALIX'S FAMILY'S APARTMENT - LATER
Cords and wires line the hallway to the kitchen. A computer monitor, a tower, a small scanner, and a large printer are stacked on the couch.
The sound of people arguing comes from another room. Alix sighs and opens the window a crack. She shoves herself between the electronics on the couch and puts the cigarette to her mouth. She lifts the broken lighter to her mouth. It fails.
ALIX
Fuck!
She looks down at the business card in her hand.
THERESA (O.S.)
Alix! Is that you? Can you-
DAVE (O.S.)
Terry, stop! Alix? Do we have the (beat) "laser jets"?
Alix makes a disgusted face, then reaches down to the carpet. She runs the lighter over it several times. She speeds up until it finally sparks. She yells out in triumph.
DAVE and THERESA (60s, clueless) walk into the living room. Dave is holding what looks like a rolling pin, covered in black ink.
DAVE
Hi, sweetie. So, this is where the ink comes from. Do you think we could-
THERESA
Honey, sh, before I beat you with that. (beat) Your father thinks we need to rewire the modem to the printer.
Dave puts his hands on Theresa's shoulder.
DAVE
And your mother thinks we should go wireless. Hence the...
Dave gestures to all of the electronics uprooted on the couch.
ALIX
I thought... the printer was just out of ink?
THERESA
(not listening, to DAVE)
So, if we tape the scanner to the printer, we don't even need ink at all. Right?
DAVE
That's what the guy said on the phone?
Alix looks wistfully at the business card.
EXT. COURTYARD - LATER
Alix and her parents sit in silence on the bench.
THERESA
But why not just get a tablet? We won't have to print anything out.
ALIX
(tapping anxiously)
Mom. If you bring up the tablet-
Before she continues, the Man reappears at the bench across from them.
MAN
Hello again.
THERESA
(to Alix)
He's handsome. Do you know him?
The Man chuckles and steps slowly toward them.
MAN
You look like a man whose been around the block a few times.
They all look at Dave, whose hands and lap are fully covered in black ink.
EXT. COURTYARD - MOMENTS LATER
The Man sits on the crowded bench with Alix and her parents. Even with his sunglasses on, he matches Alix's weariness.
MAN
Now, if I'm correct here: your printer ran out of ink, so you decided to... dismember the whole instrument?
THERESA
(happy with herself)
Nuh uh! He did. I decided we should get rid of the computer tower and printer altogether.
The Man holds up two fingers to her lips. Dave shuffles in his seat. Alix stops herself from lighting two cigarettes at once.
The Man gestures to the pile of electronics, now broken in a heap beneath the balcony. Alix buries her face in her hands.
MAN
So, those are yours?
DAVE
I have a laptop.
The Man shakes Dave's hand and crouches to his knees.
MAN
(to ALIX)
This might be the worst case I've ever seen.
Dave and Theresa glance at one another.
ALIX
Can you help? I had to explain what CYMB is fourteen times. We used an entire ream of paper just testing the ink levels. They think a "driver" is a metal screw you physically drill into the computer.
The Man walks over to the pile. He nudges the remnants of the printer with a steel-toed boot. Alix drops the cigarettes and runs to him.
MAN
There's nothing I can do here.
She drops to her knees. The Man reaches down and cups her face in his hands.
MAN
(whispers)
There is no fixing them. My advice: get out now before they get that tablet.
ALIX
Because I'll be the one to set it up.
MAN
Because you'll be the one to set it up.
The Man places a comforting hand on her shoulder. They look over at Dave and Theresa who are on their phones, oblivious of the situation they created.
THERESA
(to DAVE)
How did you send those little faces to me?
Alix stares in awe. The Man nods.
Alix pulls the cigarette carton from her back pocket and tosses it into the pile of broken gadgets. She looks at the Man and nods.
He takes out his silver lighter. The pile erupts in flames.
MAN
Go on. They've survived this long without you.
Alix runs along the perimeter of the courtyard and escapes out the gate. The Man walks back to the confused couple.
DAVE
Where's Alix?
The Man takes off his sunglasses and sits next to the couple. He grabs Theresa's phone and tinkers with it.
THERESA
Oh. Dave, look! The little faces!
the END.
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